Imperfect

The number 13 has been deemed by many as unlucky, and so we have “Friday the 13th”, and we don’t have 13th floors in buildings.  But today marks my 13th year in fulltime youth ministry, something I definitely won’t describe as unfavored.

The second of October in the year 2000 was my first day in the National Secretariat for Youth Apostolate, the executive arm of the Youth Commission of the CBCP (or Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines).  My entry into this office and fulltime ministry: these I consider as God’s gifts to me in that Year of Great Jubilee.  (The journey towards these deserves another post.)

And 13 years later, I am here. 13.  The number, and how it is perceived as imperfect, brings to me these thoughts...

My youth ministry, my relationships, how I make choices as well some choices themselves, my journey, my life... They are imperfect.  I sigh at the realization how I wish I could have done some things differently, decided differently, trod some paths differently.  Especially in relation to my faith in Christ, then indeed many parts of my life fall short: imperfect.  But this imperfection does not have to be the final word; this only serves to remind me that I am in the process, that there can be learning and improvement.  But more important of all, that I cannot rely only on myself and that I need someone bigger than me.

I know that there is the other way where, realizing one’s imperfection, the person resigns to her/his sorry state and lives, as it were, at "perfecting being imperfect".  Today, as I wish to do so everytime, I choose to acknowledge what is imperfect in me and my need for the Lord and His saving work in my life, in my journey, in my relationships and yes, in my ministry.

After all, 13 is not the only imperfect number.  Every number is, until all of them bring us, mark us towards Christ, whose fullness will accompany us, confront us, empower us every imperfect step we take if we allow Him.